Adventures at TTITD
Hi all,
I'm back from Burningman! It was amazing and wonderful and exhausting and arduous, and a great pivotal event that reminded me that it's time to start heading elsewhere now, with a final(ish) destination of Austin.
Soonish plans alert: Between now and whenever I save enough money and get plans together to move for realz, I will hopefully be attending the Tx Burlesque Festival in Austin the weekend of oct. 13, hitting Seattle/Tacoma the oct. 19th weekend for my Mom's 60th birthday, and spending a glorious New Years in L.A. at Twigsville.
So back to TTITD. I drove my RV, and she has earned the new nickname of Princess, with Bitch thrown in occasionally. She was pretty bitchy getting there, but was fantastic out there, I was so proud! Air conditioning, plumbing, refrigerator, real beds, I felt pretty spoiled and was real okay with it. I am also more motivated to put a little more love and attention into Princess Bitch Spacedillo, I can see a relationship between taking care of her and taking care of myself. She earned my affection and respect. I hung out at the DFTs and Gigsville, with regular outtings on the Vroom Vroom Room, Katie's art car. I made one jaunt out onto the playa on bike, one on foot, and didn't even manage to see much of the esplanade, missed Center Camp entirely. I guess I have learned the power of the G-spot! I met quite a few cool new people, reconnected in wonderful ways with friends, deepened some relationships, and, as always, got a good healthy dose of what I needed. It was good. I don't need to go back for a while. Next event: Flipside '08!
Impressions:
Dear Jeebus, it was so big! Last time I was there was '04, and wow, it has GROWN. The scale just blew me away! It was overwhelming, but at the same time, very comforting. There was no possible way to wrap my head around it, much less experience it all, so I didn't even pretend to try, I just did what I encountered along my path as opportunity. I didn't even unpack half of my costumes, and the pink furry chaps remain unplayafied. My current thought on that is "Yay, less crap to clean!"
Wow, I miss my phavorite phreaks, it's time to get home.
Thank Jeebus I didn't overextend myself as extremely as I could have. I watched my friends total themselves on teardown on monday & tuesday, and provided backup support in the form of food, a/c, bed, comfortable crash-space. I still managed to get a bladder infection on the way home, and to be covered from head to toe in scratches & bruises. I'm not up for that now. I'm not sure if I'll ever be up for it like that again. I may be past the point of that much output for that kind of reward. I am learning much about my own limits and boundaries, about the difference between able to do something and worthwhile to do. I bought into the image of hard-core for a while, and I think I did that, but I don't need to prove that to myself or anyone else right now. If I find something that inspires me to push myself like that again, then I'll test out my ability to set boundaries for myself and do within them, but for now, I think I'll be just fine being more decorative, less functional.
Wow, I have a serious disconnect between my body and my Self. I have been extremely clumsy, with very poor awareness of where my body is in space, in relation to objects. Somewhere in the last few months, I just made the decision to push myself however I had to to get what i needed to get done done, regardless of what my body said. It became very apparent that it worked better than I imagined it could have as I scraped and bunged my way through numerous RV repairs (and tumbles off art cars). No serious injuries, but it's time to take steps to handle this before it gets to that point. Time for some yoga and pilates methinks, some body-scanning meditation, any other suggestions out there?
I don't like flakes. "Flaky" is a catch-all get-out-of-responsibility-free description. Part of the reason I don't like it methinks is because I tend to be flaky sometimes myself. I have been working hard on changing that in myself, not overcommitting to things I hope I'll want to or be able to do when the time comes to do them. Commitment, obligation, intent, guilt, these are all pretty big and up for me right now, and i had a few situations in which to learn some stuff. I'm still digesting on that. In that stuff: saying yes when you mean no, perhaps, or maybe. I use committing to big things as a motivator, and it's not one that is working for me right now. Time to explore what does work as a positive motivator for me. Guilting myself to do stuff because I said I would, then wearing myself out to do it is hard on me, turns supposed to be fun into not. Time to find a better way.
Did I mention that I miss my people?
I'm sure there's lots more ruminating & belly-button-gazing I will do, but not today, I have a nap scheduled. Sleep is gooood.
Love you allll,
S
I'm back from Burningman! It was amazing and wonderful and exhausting and arduous, and a great pivotal event that reminded me that it's time to start heading elsewhere now, with a final(ish) destination of Austin.
Soonish plans alert: Between now and whenever I save enough money and get plans together to move for realz, I will hopefully be attending the Tx Burlesque Festival in Austin the weekend of oct. 13, hitting Seattle/Tacoma the oct. 19th weekend for my Mom's 60th birthday, and spending a glorious New Years in L.A. at Twigsville.
So back to TTITD. I drove my RV, and she has earned the new nickname of Princess, with Bitch thrown in occasionally. She was pretty bitchy getting there, but was fantastic out there, I was so proud! Air conditioning, plumbing, refrigerator, real beds, I felt pretty spoiled and was real okay with it. I am also more motivated to put a little more love and attention into Princess Bitch Spacedillo, I can see a relationship between taking care of her and taking care of myself. She earned my affection and respect. I hung out at the DFTs and Gigsville, with regular outtings on the Vroom Vroom Room, Katie's art car. I made one jaunt out onto the playa on bike, one on foot, and didn't even manage to see much of the esplanade, missed Center Camp entirely. I guess I have learned the power of the G-spot! I met quite a few cool new people, reconnected in wonderful ways with friends, deepened some relationships, and, as always, got a good healthy dose of what I needed. It was good. I don't need to go back for a while. Next event: Flipside '08!
Impressions:
Dear Jeebus, it was so big! Last time I was there was '04, and wow, it has GROWN. The scale just blew me away! It was overwhelming, but at the same time, very comforting. There was no possible way to wrap my head around it, much less experience it all, so I didn't even pretend to try, I just did what I encountered along my path as opportunity. I didn't even unpack half of my costumes, and the pink furry chaps remain unplayafied. My current thought on that is "Yay, less crap to clean!"
Wow, I miss my phavorite phreaks, it's time to get home.
Thank Jeebus I didn't overextend myself as extremely as I could have. I watched my friends total themselves on teardown on monday & tuesday, and provided backup support in the form of food, a/c, bed, comfortable crash-space. I still managed to get a bladder infection on the way home, and to be covered from head to toe in scratches & bruises. I'm not up for that now. I'm not sure if I'll ever be up for it like that again. I may be past the point of that much output for that kind of reward. I am learning much about my own limits and boundaries, about the difference between able to do something and worthwhile to do. I bought into the image of hard-core for a while, and I think I did that, but I don't need to prove that to myself or anyone else right now. If I find something that inspires me to push myself like that again, then I'll test out my ability to set boundaries for myself and do within them, but for now, I think I'll be just fine being more decorative, less functional.
Wow, I have a serious disconnect between my body and my Self. I have been extremely clumsy, with very poor awareness of where my body is in space, in relation to objects. Somewhere in the last few months, I just made the decision to push myself however I had to to get what i needed to get done done, regardless of what my body said. It became very apparent that it worked better than I imagined it could have as I scraped and bunged my way through numerous RV repairs (and tumbles off art cars). No serious injuries, but it's time to take steps to handle this before it gets to that point. Time for some yoga and pilates methinks, some body-scanning meditation, any other suggestions out there?
I don't like flakes. "Flaky" is a catch-all get-out-of-responsibility-free description. Part of the reason I don't like it methinks is because I tend to be flaky sometimes myself. I have been working hard on changing that in myself, not overcommitting to things I hope I'll want to or be able to do when the time comes to do them. Commitment, obligation, intent, guilt, these are all pretty big and up for me right now, and i had a few situations in which to learn some stuff. I'm still digesting on that. In that stuff: saying yes when you mean no, perhaps, or maybe. I use committing to big things as a motivator, and it's not one that is working for me right now. Time to explore what does work as a positive motivator for me. Guilting myself to do stuff because I said I would, then wearing myself out to do it is hard on me, turns supposed to be fun into not. Time to find a better way.
Did I mention that I miss my people?
I'm sure there's lots more ruminating & belly-button-gazing I will do, but not today, I have a nap scheduled. Sleep is gooood.
Love you allll,
S