Time to wake up

Yeah, this has been a very good and strange few weeks.

I feel like i have become a stranger to myself, and I am just now getting to know me.

( How the hell did this all happen you ask? Warning, this could be considered heavy. ) I have been, in the last couple of months, re-discovering my kindness, my sense of humor, my wit. The bitchy, intolerant, insecure parts of me are once again being balanced by my ability to make fun of myself, and my confidence that I am a good, cool person.

I am finally feeling like I am moving forward, not mired in my situation. I mean, I don't really have any more or less control than I ever had, none of us do, but I feel more able to cope, and make the best of, and hell, have a GOOD TIME in my situation.

Ahh, I feel better now.

Kisses!

So I was feeling all poopy & stuff earlier this week, and I thought it was all in my head, but I am so glad to realize, IT WASN'T! I started my period today, yayyy! I much prefer to be not just losing my shit, but hormonal. Hot diggity dogg, this is one of these times when getting my period is a GOOD thing. I could tell you the background on all the other times when this happened, but I'm pretty sure it's too boring. Lemme just assure you that it coming is usually not a thing to be joyous about.

Anyway, enough about my girlie-functions. I figured something about myself recently, like over the last day or two. I guess I should say I re-discovered this, 'cause I'm pretty sure I knew it at one point & forgot it, more than once. Hey everybody, I'm an extrovert! I know, I know, I can hear you saying "Well duh, dork girl". And I hadn't forgotten that I am an extrovert, I just kinda forgot all the stuff it encompasses for me. Like, I NEED to be constantly meeting & getting to know new people in my life, because it is through the getting acquainted process that I discover things about myself and grow. I realized that I have not been making any new friends over the last couple of years due to other shit going on, and that I have become stagnant. Then I started taking antidepressants to get me out of my rut, and they worked, and then I met someone new (and cute, and cool). I have been crushing on this person a bit, and kinda freaking myself out a bit 'cause I do not usually get wrapped up in people like this. And I was feeling all funky about my husband, scared of feeling all interested in somebody not him. Then I finally GOT it, that this is the first new friend I've made in, like 2 years! Dear God, I am not very quick sometimes. Anyway, so now I realized that I'm not a stalker, I'm just real rusty at this whole getting to know people thing, and the new person is my focus 'cause there are no other new people. And that it's okay about my husband, 'cause I've always been like this, this is what I DO. Lordy, how the hell did I lose track of something so innately part of me?

That's rhetorical, 'cause I know exactly how, and I've got a good excuse. If you don't know you can go to http://saveshannensboob.com/ and get all the details up to the point that I stopped updating that page. Anyway, I'm all clear (6 month checkup was august), and fine physically, and I'm just now getting back to myself. And I hafta say, it's good to be back to abnormal.

Love!